A Light in the Dark:

The Hidden Legacy of Adult Children of Sex Addicts

by Kenneth M. Adams, Mary E. Meyer, Culle L. Vande Garde

A groundbreaking book detailing the unique issues experienced by adult children who grew up with a sexually addicted parent and offering a path to unburden their shameful legacy and embrace sexuality and intimacy without the intrusion or constraints from the past.

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Summary

Sexuality and intimacy are important ingredients in healthy, loving relationships. But sex addiction warps the experiences and, when the addict is a parent, can leave a cascading legacy of pain and trauma for generations to come. Adult children who grew up with a parent who had a sexual addiction are left confused, ashamed, and mistrustful regarding the feelings and boundaries surrounding sex, love, and intimacy. Due to the inappropriate sexual behavior of one parent, and the subsequent impact of betrayal on the other parent, these adults carry sexual secrets, have divided loyalties, and are often caught in the middle of their parents’ struggles. Adult children of sex addicts (ACSAs) struggle with their sexuality and longings for love and carry a burden of shame that is not theirs.

This groundbreaking book details the unique issues experienced by adult children who grew up with a sexually addicted parent and offers a path to unburden their shameful legacy and embrace sexuality and intimacy without the intrusion or constraints from the past. A Light in the Dark offers hope for unburdening ACSAs by sharing the experiences of others, as well as examining the characteristics, roles and recovery that point toward the freedom and joy they rightfully deserve. Included is a journaling section for deeper reflection and understanding.

About the Author

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Kenneth M. Adams

Kenneth M. Adams, Ph., CSAT-S, is a licensed psychologist and faculty member with the International Institute of Trauma and Addiction Professionals and the clinical director of Kenneth M. Adams and Associates. He is the author of Silently Seduced and When He’s Married to Mom.

A Light in the Dark Workshop:

Beginning the journey of healing for Adult Children of Sexually Addicted Parents (ACSAs)

March 9th, 2025 | 12pm-3pm EST

March 16th, 2025 | 12pm-3pm EST

Facilitated by Certified Sex Addiction Therapist Leilani Sinclair (LMFT/CSAT), this workshop addresses the unique issues and challenges commonly experienced by adult children who grew up in a home with a sexually addicted parent. While not focusing on blaming parents for the past, this workshop provides a safe, supportive and educational environment for participants to learn, understand and heal from the lasting personal toll they experienced as a result of their parent’s addiction. The goal of the series is to provide tools and a path forward that fosters a new legacy of joy and wholeness that is free from past addiction, shame and intergenerational trauma.

COST: $700 (Early Bird Registration) $800 after February 9th, 2025

Register for Workshop

Please enter your information below to reach one of our staff to complete the next steps in the registration process.

About the Workshop Facilitator

Leilani Sinclair, MA, LMFT, CSAT

Leilani’s integrative approach to therapeutic work draws from a diverse range of psychodynamic trainings, workshops and education involving trauma-informed therapy, adolescent self-image and empowerment, parental alienation and estrangement, EMDR, mentalization, sex/pornography addiction, substance abuse addiction and grief and loss.

Leilani has received extensive training in working with children and parents to navigate difficult times of divorce, custody disputes and family crises. She also works with adults seeking to heal from childhood experiences that involve parental conflict and divorce. In August 2018, Leilani presented her Master’s thesis at a conference in London, Moving Upstream: Family Separation Clinic and European Association of Parental Alienation Practitioners. Titled, “Therapy Contraindicated: The Treatment Challenges of Working with Severely Alienated Children”. Her thesis highlighted the negative impact children face during times of high-conflict parental divorce and provided practical recommendations that therapists could follow in these difficult situations based on the latest evidence-based research.

She earned her master’s degree (M.A.) in Counseling Psychology at Pacifica Graduate Institute and her B.A. in History from the University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA).

Are you and Adult Child of a Sex Addict? Take the Survey!

Please use this quick survey as a way to provide insight on your experience as an adult child of a sex addict. Please note that this is not a diagnosis or declaration. You are welcome to share your results with your therapist.

Your information and results are kept private to this organization. Your email will not be shared outside of the Overcoming Enmeshment / Sexual Health Addiction practice. You may receive marketing emails that you can opt out of.

Testimonials

A Light in the Dark offers adult children not only a framework and language to understand their experiences but, equally important, a voice and path to their recovery. By recognizing and addressing the consequences of sexual shame, they will forge a new path free of their families’ fear, pain, and shame. This book shines light on the dark while providing light for the future. This is an exciting contribution to the recovery field that is much needed and long overdue.

Claudia Black, PhD
author of It Will Never Happen to Me!, pioneer, adult children of alcoholics movement

A Light in the Dark is a book whose time has come—a beautiful testimonial and guidebook for adult children of sex addicts (ACSAs) raised in the accompanying deceit and chaos of addiction. A must read for ACSAs and anyone who works in the field of addiction!

Alexandra Katehakis, PhD
author of Sex Addiction as Affect Dysregulation: A Neurobiologically Informed Holistic Treatment

Professional Resources

Best Therapeutic Practices in Treating Adult Children of Sex Addicts

Adult children who grew up with a parent who had a sexual addiction (ACSAs) are left confused, ashamed, and mistrustful regarding the feelings and boundaries surrounding sex, love, and intimacy. ACSAs have not had their stories told in any significant way in the recovery or treatment literature. Their shame and struggle have often been wedged under various other umbrellas of identification and models of treatment. Based on the new book A Light in the Dark: The Hidden Legacy of Adult Children of Sex Addicts by Adams, Myer, and Vande Garde this workshop will outline the unique challenges, characteristics, roles, and best treatment and recovery practices.

Core to understanding ACSAs is identifying the intergenerational trauma transmitted through the legacy of carried sexual shame from the sexually addicted family system. This workshop will outline the three levels of sexual shame that ACSAs carry allowing clinicians a clearer understanding of the barriers to intimacy frequently reported by ACSAs. Additionally, data drawn from an ACSA survey delineating their experience growing up in their families will be featured throughout the workshop. Treatment options and a brief period for case discussion will be provided.